We will decide together if our relationship will be a coaching relationship or a diagnosable therapeutic relationship

Therapy vs. Friendship:
There are important differences between therapy and friendship. As your therapist, I cannot be your friend. Friends may see your position only from their personal viewpoints and experiences. Friends may want to find quick and easy solutions to your problems so that they can feel helpful. Therapy deals with problems that can be diagnosed. Short-term solutions, recommended by friends, may not be in your long-term best interest. A therapist offers you choices and helps YOU choose what is best for YOU. A therapist helps you learn how to solve problems better and make better decisions. A therapist’s responses to your situation are based on tested theories and methods of change.

Coaching vs. Therapy:
The distinction between coaching and counseling is often grey and not black and white. Therapy deals with diagnosable conditions while coaching is about focusing on the future. Therapy is seen as problem focused and coaching is seen as future oriented. Nonetheless coaching, like therapy, can be very therapeutic and healing. Coaching is for people who are looking for a guide to help them on their path to change. People who choose to be coached are enthusiastic about learning to use all their competencies and resources to create the best possible future.

I believe that there is a partnership between me and you, the client. YOU define the problem areas to be worked on. I use my knowledge of the most effective techniques for your particular issues to help YOU make the changes you want to make.

It is not like visiting a medical doctor. It requires your very active involvement. You may find it useful to take notes, and also to take notes outside the office. It requires your best efforts to change thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

I expect us to plan our work together. We will list the areas to work on, our goals, the methods we will use, the time and money commitments we will make, and some other things. I expect us to agree on a plan that we will both work hard to follow. From time to time, we will look together at our progress and goals. If we think we need to, we can then change our plan, its goals, and its methods. It is important to be aware that, depending on your goals, different amounts of time both in frequency of sessions and duration may be required.

An important part of our work will be your commitment to practicing the new skills that you will learn in our sessions. I will ask you to practice outside our meetings, and we will work together to set up homework assignments for you. I might ask you to do exercises, to keep records, to read books or articles, and perhaps to do other tasks to deepen your learning. You will probably have to work on relationships in your life and make long-term efforts to get the best results. These are important parts of personal change. Change will sometimes be easy and quick, but more often it will be slow and frustrating, and you will need to keep trying. There are no instant, painless cures and no "magic pills." However, you can discover solutions and answers that you are not used to seeing because of old tapes, messages, and scripts get in the way.

The process of ending our work together is called "termination”. It can be a very valuable part of our work. Stopping should not be done casually, although either of us may decide to end our work together if we believe it is in your best interest. If you wish to stop at any time, I ask that you agree now to meet then for at least one session to review our work together. We will review our goals, the work we have done, any future work that needs to be done, and our choices. You may like to take a "vacation" and try it on your own, if so, we should discuss this. We can often make such a "vacation" be more helpful.

As a professional, I will use my best knowledge and skills to help you. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. I am trained and licensed to practice mental health counseling—not law, medicine, or any other profession. I am not able to give you good advice from these other professional viewpoints. State laws require me to keep what you tell me confidential (that is, private). You can trust me not to tell anyone else what you tell me, except in certain limited situations. I explain what those are in the "About Confidentiality" section of this brochure.

I want to explain that I try not to reveal who my clients are. I will never acknowledge working with you without your written permission. This is part of my efforts to maintain your privacy. If we meet on the street or socially, I may not say hello or talk to you very much. My behavior will not be a personal reaction to you, but a way to maintain the confidentiality of our relationship. Even if you invite me, I will not attend your family gatherings, such as parties or weddings. I will not give you gifts; I may not notice or recall your birthday; and I may not receive any of your gifts eagerly.

In your best interest and following the standards of my profession, I cannot have any other role in your life. I cannot, now or ever, be a close friend or socialize with any of my clients. I cannot be a therapist to someone who is already a friend. I can never have sexual or romantic relationships with any client during, or after, the course of therapy. I cannot have a business relationship with any of my clients, other than the therapy relationship. When our therapy is completed, I will not be able to be a friend to you like your other friends. As a coach I follow these same guide lines.

I am not a physician, so when medications are appropriate I will work closely with your physician.

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